I missed my calling to be a dog in this life. Sure, some dogs have it rough, but not this one. What I would give to trade places with him just one Monday
Here’s a typical day in his life…
4:30am. Someone’s phone is making so much noise. Could she be any ruder. Do I wake her up in the middle of a nap, no. I’ll just lay here in bed until she is busy doing something else and THEN I will decide I need to wake up and go outside. Serves her right for that obnoxious wake up call.
4:45am: Finally I can go back to sleep but I just can’t seem to get comfortable. Still with the too much noise and too much light in my bedroom. I’ll go sleep in the hall. It’s quiet and dark there. Ahhhh, finally some more zzzzz…..
5:00am: WHAT?! someone else is trying to wake the dead and just took another year off my life. Why do these people in this house make SOMUCHNOISE! I make no noise, never. See how they treat me?
5:15am: Finally peacefully asleeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz……..
6:00am: More noise. Great. What now? Wait! Is that breakfast I smell cooking? Ok, I guess I will permit that noise… wait a minute. You forgot to make two plates. What’s going on. Why does no one ever remember to make me breakfast. Grr. That’s OK, I’ll just cook some bacon while they are at work. hehehe
7:30-4:30pm: Sweet glorious sleep. Nap, nap, nap. Maybe I won’t even move a muscle today since I am so exhausted from the morning rukis.
4:45pm: Thing 2 waltzes in the door like she owns the place. Thanks for waking me up, AGAIN! Where is Thing 1? She’s my favorite, I need her! I’ll just watch for her out the window…
5:30pm: I’m not sure why but I get really excited to see my girls when they get home?! Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Plus I know the cuter I am, the more likely they are to give me chicken. Live and learn, folks.
6:15pm: Finally feeling awake and ready to face the day now. TIMEFORMYWALK. I don’t understand why those two lazy lumps just sit there watching TV while I stand here by the door, totally ready to go on a walk. Maybe they need me to remind them what time it is. Ruuf! Walk! Moveitfatties!
6:30pm: OH FINALLY they decide to move and take me for my wander. Gosh I love spring. I hate those stupid coats they make me wear in the Winter. #claustrophobic So.many.good.smells! Jeez these two weirdo-s are slow. I could totally lap them both. Move it!
6:45pm: So thirsty! and HUNGRY! Where’s my meal! Feed me! Starving… Wasting awaY! paw paw paw, grasping for sustenance…
7:00pm: Food! This food is kind of gross, especially the blue chunks. Seriously, food coloring in food? #notok Don’t they know I prefer clean eating?
7:15pm: Isn’t it time for bed now? I’m exhausted. This day was sobusy! I’ll take a nap on the couch/floor/mybed/diningroom/couch/chair/hallway/person. Just can’t get comfortable and again with the noise and the light! No consideration.
9:30pm: Finally it’s time for some real peace and quite! Can’t… keep… my… eyes…open……