This is the post were I warn you that the next few months could be a total train wreck for me in the area of running. I am still in a total funk and have less than zero interest in putting forth any effort to train for my two upcoming half marathons (Sept & Oct) and upcoming marathon (Jan)…
The January marathon is priority #1. I’m hopeful that if I don’t force myself to run and train for these half marathons that I will be more inclined to want to train for the full marathon come October. Hopeful being the operative word. There is really no option of not doing the January Marathon as it is in Disney and I am already registered, hotel booked, plane tickets purchased and really do want to complete the actual marathon. It’s the training leading up to the marathon that I am total uninspired to complete.
Such pretty bling that I will never ever take off as long as I am in FL.
I know this is 100% my fault for being so determined to complete my marathon this Spring/Summer despite the cancellation of the first one mid-way that I signed up for another one a month or so later, therefore prolonging the number of Saturday mornings I spent beating myself up running for 3+ hours. I am happy I just got it done with and now can call myself a marathoner but in so many ways, crossing that finish line has totally zapped any and all motivation for running another one. Running an actual marathon is “easy” compared to training for one. That’s where the real work happens.
Training for a marathon makes me gain weight, feel all gross and hungover after runs, incredibly tired and
hungryrungry all.the.time, nervous, anxious, overly competitive about paces, sore, over-trained, etc., etc. These are probably the parts of training that get glossed over but right now, that’s all I can think about and have zero ambition to re-subject myself to so soon after recovering from the last. I really need that post-marathon amnesia to kick in!
Ideally, if I just could figure out how to literally not care/worry about anything during training, I would probably do fine. But I am incredibly type-A and as soon as I decide I am “in training”, all hell breaks loose. I start to obsess about the weather, I start to over-think anything and everything I eat, I start to feel even more phantom pains than usual, the thought of missing or skipping a run is absolutely not an option regardless of how I feel…the list goes on and on. (I’m a real loser, clearly )
So, my “plan” for the next 140ish days (crap, that’s close!) is to… not have one. No training plan, no goal paces, no goal finish time, nothing. I just want to be able to run by feel so to speak and run for fun. If that means running a slow 2-4 miles three days in a row, taking 4 days off and then doing a slow run/walk as my long run of the week, so be it. If that means I want to do a speed work run, great. If I just want to ride my bike, swim and lift weights one week, all the better! The only thing that I know is I will stay active. This at least is something I don’t have to worry about (unless I get hurt) as exercise has never been something I force myself to do, I really do look forward to working out! Lately though, running is moving into the force category and that’s what I want to fix.
The one thing that might motivate me to actual do something in preparation for this marathon is Sister. She is signed up to run her FIRST full marathon in Disney! So maybe I can talk her into letting me tag along on her runs and hopefully not die doing them! I’ve already warned her I am joining her on her first 20 miler Thanksgiving weekend!!!
I really, really do want to run the Disney marathon! I’ve always wanted to do this as long as I can remember being aware of what a marathon is! But I think therein lies another problem. I am terrified of trying and training as hard as I did last time to only have things falls apart come race day. I think I’ve lost my marathon trust
I am fully aware this will likely be the worst plan, ever! I’ll probably hurt myself by being under-trained, bonk at mile 12 or something equally ridiculous but right now, it’s the only thing I can think about without wanting to run screaming from! The idea of creating a training plan and following one makes me literally sick to my stomach. Luckily, the time cut-off on this marathon does make it walk-able so at least there is always that option! Barring injury, I do know I will finish! I also know I will get in some long runs. Probably not every weekend but I am hoping for at least every third weekend or so. Hopefully by spacing things out a bit, I can try to avoid killing my body again…
So anyways, I apologize for the rambles today but I have been wanting to post on this topic for a few weeks but kept holding off in hopes that I miraculously felt inspired to run, run, run! But so far, no such luck so maybe by typing this I will help start to break the funk!
Marathon training train wreck will commence in five…four…three…two…one!
How closely do you follow your training plans? Obsessively like me or more loosely?